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Permanent Vacation?

Due to exciting opportunities in other parts of our lives, the editors of Take the Handle have decided to put the online magazine on hiatus for the time being. Who knows – it could return some day in a form that has not yet been invented. For the past five years TTH has been a source of inspiration and laughs for us and we’d like to thank everyone who contributed their time, writing and artwork over the years especially Ben Smith and Sam Axelrod who worked tirelessly as co-editors and constant contributors.

Love always,
Alex and Stefan

PS please check out our proudest moments in our 10 semi-quarterly “Mag-A-Seen” Issues:

The Case of the Chung King Tongue

In this piece, writer Alex Milsom tells of a Sichuan adventure with veteran TTH contributor Nathaniel Rich, who previously interviewed Sichuan John of New York’s own Grand Sichuan with our Ed. Stefan Marolachakis.

“Right now, at this moment, there isn’t a single other place I’d rather be in the entire world,” Nat had said to me when we arrived at the unatmospherically over-lit restaurant we’d driven 26 miles to visit.

As if he was concerned I’d interpret his statement as hyperbole, he added, “Sometimes, I’ll be in another really good restaurant eating good food, and I’ll be thinking about this place and wishing I was here instead. I compare like everything I eat to the food here.”
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A Great Holiday, Overlooked: 1-2-12

Dear Mayor Bloomberg, Governor Cuomo, President Obama, et al:

I was born in this fair city nearly thirty-two years ago. Since that day, a number of new jack area codes have popped up — 917, 646, and 347, to name a few — but one has always loomed large as the Big Apple’s undeniable three-digit identity: 212.
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Happy New Year Striptease Snafu!

Our friends over at Howling Hearts have posted this year’s definitive New Year’s Eve video. It’s a subway striptease for the ages, and words cannot do it justice. So, without further ado, Happy 2012!
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Distract-o-Vision

[caps]I[/caps]’m always a sucker for a new gimmick so when I heard about the Smurf-O-Vision: Second Screen Experience, I knew I had to get involved. Every Blu-ray copy of the new rehash of The Smurfs comes with a free app for your iPhone or iPad which you can sync with the movie. It caters to the multi-task generation where even a recreational activity like a movie requires supplemental distractions like bubble popping and fly swatting. Continue Reading this Column →

Santa Rages Hard at TTH Holiday Party

Thanks to everyone who made it out to the TTH/Lemonade holiday party last week. Our party photographer dropped his camera down Santa’s outhouse, so we’re stuck with these lousy photos from our editor’s phone. They might have turned out a little better if it hadn’t been for the 40 cases of Asahi washed down with a couple Hot Drams. Check out nine absurd party pics below, none of which capture the true beauty of a blackbox theater decorated in tinsel and snowflakes by four men: Continue Reading this Column →

TTH Holiday Gift Guide!

In a bind about what to get your friends this holiday season? Here are a few items that we think are sure to put smiles on the faces of your near and dear…
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TTH/ Lemonade Holiday Party

Dear Readers,
It’s been a while since we’ve seen all of our Take the Handle friends together in one room so we decided to throw a little holiday bash next week with our friends at Lemonade NYC. We hope you can join us – there will be free beer and maybe a hot cocktail to sip.

See you next thursday?
The Eds.
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Choose Your Own Badvoovie

[caps]W[/caps]hile other apps aim for a global market, this series of apps are an advertisement for “Sacramento’s best Moroccan restaurant”, a joint called Marrakech. The name Advoovie is an awkward combination of the words “adventure” and “movie” so called because users watch short movies then choose from three options to direct where the adventure should go next. Continue Reading this Column →

Airbag? More Like Wear-bag

Last November I traveled to Valencia to watch the final race of the MotoGP season while on assignment for a men’s magazine. There I experienced Grand Prix motorcycle racing for the first time, and I can testify that it is the real-life version of Tron; only, in this case, the sleek and sensuous texture of the racing scenery seen in that film’s recent update has been replaced by piping hot pavement and deafening engine noise. (Try to conjure in your mind’s ear something to the tune of ten thousand chainsaws having violent sex with one another.) One can only imagine what it would feel like to crash while pushing 200 mph on one of these 800cc beasts.
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Barnyard Sex Jokes App Is Decidedly Not For Kids

[caps]A[/caps]s a result of writing this column for a few months, my iPad is brimming with questionable apps which somehow subverted the App Store’s policy against sex and profanity. I keep them all in folders so that friends or relatives don’t stumble upon these troubling apps when they’re playing games or looking up a recipe on my iPad. One app that I downloaded recently called Crazy Animal World was not filed in the “offensive” folder but it really should have been. It’s a dangerous case of misleading marketing and I really hope that parents don’t mistakenly download it for their kids hoping to see some funny talking animals. Continue Reading this Column →

Bienvenue a Hotel Dieu

Shortly after relaunching this website, one of our editors came down with a mysterious illness. Here is the strange tale of what happened back at the end of August…
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Riffin’ With Dan McCarthy

In this episode of Riffin’ we steal an interview with Dan McCarthy of McCarthy Trenching and get him chatting about Switzerland, sex, and his dreams of building a combination squash Court/smokehouse. Dan has played with handfuls of Omaha’s best bands including Neva Dinova, The Good Life, and Bright Eyes. Check out McCarthy Trenching’s great new record “Fresh Blood” out on Slumber Party Records.

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I Was Licked by A Zombie

[caps]L[/caps]ike the front aisle of every drug store, Halloween has the app Store brimming with empty calories and useless junk. There are apps to help you choose a costume, count down the days until Halloween, make scary sounds, even test your saliva for too much candy. Continue Reading this Column →

Happy 35th Birthday to Night Moves

[caps]T[/caps]his weekend saw the 35th birthday of Bob Seger’s classic record Night Moves, his first to be certified platinum. Celebrate the anniversary this Monday afternoon by having a listen to the title track, perhaps while fondly pondering the various night moves of this past weekend.
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