I’m trying to hold out for love. I mean, I really want to be overwhelmed by love and have all of the things that I imagine happen to someone in love come to pass. I want to fall hard. But I always end up in relationships with guys that are pretty good, but not IT. Right now, I know it’s not it. But I’m getting older and I’m wondering if I should start exchanging my romantic ideals for the pragmatism of the future. I think it may be better to have a formidable companion than to grow old alone… Someone who treats me well and share in my goal to create some security and a family. Am I trading the best parts of life away?

My girlfriend and I filmed ourselves having sex this summer—we both really enjoyed it and kept the video on her computer to watch again. Here’s the thing: we’re worried one of her random Craigslist roommates might have seen it (the file appeared in her recently viewed videos). Worst- case scenario: he not only watched the video but copied it off the computer and can now post it online. Should we ask him? If he doesn’t know about it we’d rather not admit to making the video.

How much do sex drives vary among different people? How important is it to find a partner that is on the same page in this regard?

I have a friend who’s dating this new guy that, frankly, I think is kind of lame. And I mean lame in that typical New York too-cool-for-school sense. How do I tell my pal I don’t like her new dude? Do I just have to bite my tongue and hang out with him even if he’s rude to me and she’s too smitten to notice? I say this because I care about her but worry I will just come off as judgmental. Help!

How can I convince my boyfriend he needs to trim his crotchbeard? I’m used to it surrounding his parts like a protective furball but it’s expanding onto his inner thighs in a way that itches my ears if I dare venture there.

My friend has a serious drinking problem. The type of thing that was funny when we were younger but now is embarrassing and scary. I support him quitting, which he’s tried to do. Problem is, all of my social interactions in NYC are booze-centric. I’m having a hard time balancing my need for a normal social life with the demands of being there for him as a friend. Some advice?

I’m in a pinch; and I know I’m not the only one. As delighted and excited as we all may be about Obama (Bo; also Barack, and the rest of the gang), the increasingly warm weather, and the ice cream truck, no one can deny that this is a bleak time. It seems people are losing jobs faster than Denise Richards lost her clothes in “Wild Thing”. Being currently unemployed, my economic situation is pretty tight. As a result, I find myself staying in much more often than I used to, at the expense of my social (and subsequently romantic) life.

Do you have any suggestions for dating/meeting potential romantic partners, when there’s just no money in the bank? Besides the issue of dating, how can I prevent the current economy from transforming a once prodigal party girl into a huffy hermit?

I consider the world to be a pretty romantic place, but whenever I do something big and romantic for a girl who likes me, the reaction flat out sucks. At best, my gestures are met with indifference. At worst, dread and insanity. I’m not saying this is a matter of gender. Far from it. I feel the same indifference and dread at times.

I guess my question is: does old fashioned, “me and you forever” type romance still serve a purpose in 2009, or does it just drive us all crazy? Would life be better if we adopted a more realistic approach to romance?

Thanks for taking on my question. Here’s the deal. I think of myself as a pretty optimistic advice columnist. The exception to this rule is that, in matters of my own heart, I tend to be a bit less than hopeful. Its not that I have set unreachable standards. I accept that people are flawed (I know I sure am) and that relationships take negotiation and dedication. Nor do I assume that all potential partners are secretly jerks. (My inner cheerleader is pretty positive about most people.) I’m also not some sitcom-cliche desperate lonely-heart trying to snag any available partner for instant matrimony.

I am really into getting off. But, like lots of chicks my age, I know jack shit about my girl parts. I’ve heard so much about this elusive G-spot orgasm and, on the other hand, that most women can’t orgasm from intercourse. Well, I can. But how do I know if I’m having a G-spot orgasm or a regular old clitoral climax?

My boyfriend is an artist and he’s always broke. He’s hot and funny and when I was younger I thought that was enough. As we get older I’m starting to worry that I need to be a little more realistic about the type of lifestyle that I might need and the ways of living that I’m accustomed to. Am I terrible for letting reality compete with romance? I just don’t want to be scraping by forever.

Now that spring is in the air I’m excited, like all of us, to get outside and spend sunny days in the park. Honestly, one of the best things about warm weather is when girls start wearing sexy summer dresses. I have a girlfriend, though, and she is always scolding me for checking out the summer babes. At what point is it inappropriate to admire this sort of undeniable beauty?

I’m a tall girl and I’m pissed off that short girls get all the guys. I’m always overhearing guys saying “she’s too tall” — what the fuck? Like that’s somehow okay to say — when it wouldn’t be at all kosher to say “she’s too short.” What’s the deal?

I have recently been diagnosed with a particularly disgusting STD. According to my doctor, it’s very possible that I’ve probably infected everyone I’ve slept with in the last few months. There was one guy who was really cute. I really felt a connection between us, literally and figuratively (if you catch my drift). I’d really like to make plans to see him again but I also need to tell him about the STD. Long story short, what’s the best way to tell someone you really like them while also telling them they’re infected?

A good friend of mine recently started wearing nicer clothes and guiding every conversation toward money. He’s becoming a fucking bore in front of my eyes. How do I convince him to be cool again and that his nice sweaters are ugly?

My ladyfriend and I are both very horny, very busy people living on opposite ends of Metropolis. We love to see each other often, we love to touch each other often and all over, but we rarely have the time to trek to either of our distant apartments. This has become a big cause of (sexual) frustration.

We’re not looking to get down and dirty all over Manhattan, but it would be nice to have a quiet, discrete way/place to stick our hands up each other’s skirts and get off. Any suggestions?

On New Year’s Eve, while hanging out at a comedy club I often frequent, my tongue somehow found its way into the mouth of a comedian more than twice my age (I am 25…Math is fun). I don’t have any recollection of this oral encounter, but my friends and co-workers were happy to remind me. The next night, while I was working, this very old man comedian appeared at the club. During his routine he referred to our liplock as the best four and a half minutes of his life. Avoiding the issue of his wife and wedding ring, he told me afterward that he loved me and wanted to marry me.

No offense to the elderly, but this was nothing more than a silly mistake. My questions for you, Liz, are: Should I be ashamed of myself? And do I have a responsibility to tell him that it was only drunken foolishness, in case he decides to upturn his life based on an absurd fantasy? Please help.

I have recently been diagnosed with a particularly disgusting STD. According to my doctor, it’s very possible that I’ve probably infected everyone I’ve slept with in the last few months. There was one guy who was really cute. I really felt a connection between us, literally and figuratively (if you catch my drift). I’d really like to make plans to see him again but I also need to tell him about the STD. Long story short, what’s the best way to tell someone you really like them while also telling them they’re infected?