Anybody else notice how similar the Gossip Girl’s narrating voice is to the Cryptkeeper’s in Tales From the Crypt? This realization was by far my favorite thing about this episode. That and Serena’s two, um, plotlines. Georgina is so unappealing it hurts — it’s impossible for me to believe Dan would go for her. Serena hurts me in a different way, in a different place. I still need to see her without her clothes on.

God, this episode was so damn boring. This show I love is really walking a thin line here. The built-in excitement and danger of high school isn’t there anymore, and it seems to leave them lost at sea. Every shitty character is now meant to be lovable, and every sub-plot is becoming more and more conventionally soap operatic. In other words: low stakes. I need some high-stakes shit! Less new, boring characters. That fucking Pete Wentz-looking half-brother was a snooze. But I have to say, I do like the prominence of Carter Baizen this season, even though he does certainly fall into the “what, I’m supposed to like him now?” category.

You know what may be the problem? Too much of this season is taking place in daylight! These people need to get back into drinking and partying. And you know who they should be bringing back instead of Georgina? This girl (fun fact: she is played by Brian de Palma’s stepdaughter) —

Hopefully next week will bring a better episode and with it, the inspiration for a more exciting after-party. I didn’t even make it to Lit afterwards because I was comatose by the end of it! The only other thing worth noting about this episode was that some at the viewing party were grossed out by how close in color Bree’s skin is to Nate’s.

Which leads to this week’s question. Bree: would you put her on your cracker?

xoxo,
Gossip Boy