I love high waist pants with the power of no less than the sun, moon and stars. I have been to the top of the mountain and I can’t go any higher. Over the last few years my collection of pants has evolved entirely into an arsenal of pieces that graze the bellybutton. So help me. To hell with the “mom-jeans” stigma! No longer spurned by bad memories of decades recently passed, a few years after their initial return I finally see reasonable young ladies around town embracing a high waist, and to me this is a thrilling moment for us all. The natural feminine waistline, perhaps the most notable element in classic beauty and style, is upon us.

There are some issues unavoidable even to those of us not concerned with “fashion”: the low versus high. Undeniably, there’s a struggle between these two schools of pants. Dear friends have said, “I cannot wear a high waist, no, not me, never.” I hear them, and realize that bellybutton tactics aren’t for everyone. But I feel personally obligated to every woman with first-world problems to tell them that even a slightly higher rise will slim the waistline, lengthen the stems, flatter the curves, and even fend off pesky gravitational forces. It’s not fashion anymore that we’re discussing; this is physics.

Apparently, come hell or come high water, I’ll find any excuse to wear pants that fit the description. I have recently begun to break in an old pair of categorically dorky Wrangler jeans ($10). They are a nebulous shade of blue and have no particular shape, just kind of look like leg-shaped cuts of fabric conveniently sewn together and then coagulated to my leg. They were very long and instead of hemming I threw caution to the wind and put them under the knife myself. I missed the mark by a few centimeters, and now these strike awkwardly just below the ankle forming a hemline that exists only to question the integrity of the wearer. Not cool, or in, or sexy, and yet with my love they’ve become a staple along with the others. Here’s why:

1. Drop something? Pick it up worry free. No need to concern yourself with exposé and/or the nervous necessity of pulling your pants up after the sojourn down to the ground and back.

2. Conveniently hitting in or around the abdomen, a higher waist offers a friendly reminder that the human gut can only comfortably hold so much food—no need to eat the whole thing. This suits one well in the long run.

3. A reiteration of the physics! Slim/lengthen/flatter/tighten. Why not?

The cost-benefit analysis adds up. While there’s nothing wrong with an exposed navel or haphazardly bared booty, given an option, I’d rather not see it. Tacit knowledge of the navel and butt crack will suffice. And I quite like to think that Katharine Hepburn and the spirit of Annie Hall, along with our grandmothers, are somewhere beaming.

Check out Dana’s incredible blog Indian Summer Vintage where she catalogs the best in timeless trends.